(no subject)

I wish I had confidence that I'd get through this term. I mean, realistically, I should. I will finish one paper tonight, and then there's only a little more than a week, and even if I don't end up doing my work well, it will be done and I will have passed my classes, presumably, and they'll be over. There will be a break, and then there will be a different term and different classes, altogether different, with no dead crazy white men, or anyway only dead crazy white math men, and it will be better.

But I can barely get myself to write *this* paper, and all the other papers sound harder, and I just don't really like to write. And I'm not even remembering to think of the other things I need to do, the checking on the balance in the Druids account or the applying to Budapest, for instance. Or telling Sam there's no actual way I can translate anything this week, though that's the only work I'd actually like to do.

And I really resent writing papers about things I don't really know about. And this is a big problem, not only because I personally don't know much about history, but because I don't really think anyone can know this stuff. THERE IS NO WAY for us to know much about the Pelopponesian War, or about Pachomius and his monks, or any of this stuff, really. We're just making it up, and we're not really having the decency to admit it. *whine* I miss my math...