(no subject)

What a relief to be back at school. How odd that it should be a relief.

I want to be with hazelsteapot figuring out the hard stuff that happened. I want to be returning to the good stuff that happened before, and I don't know how to do that from here. I'm nervous and distracted because of this, don't talk much yet to my housemates because my mind is elsewhere.

I don't want to start classes tomorrow, I don't want to run errands and buy books today. I certainly don't want to start doing reading, although I definitely should.

I don't want to start having actual chores that affect more than one other person. I don't want to do start-of-term Reslife junk. I don't want to take a shower, and at this point I can really only get away with not-washing if Hazel is the only person around. (Not that that means I wash, but I feel guilty and I don't want to feel guilty.)

I don't want to answer emails, and now that I'm back on campus I have no excuse.

I don't want to take care of the Druids, and this term I really ought to try.

And despite this, it is a relief to be back here. To be home, to have the people around that I'm used to. If I can just learn to accept the start of the term, I should be all set.