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February 4th, 2009

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 11:36 pm
I've watched so much Buffy in the past couple of days that I'm feeling burnt out on it. That's kind of too bad, as I have the whole 3rd season out of the library. On the other hand, I have it for almost anther two weeks. Probably I'll get interested again.

Things are funny. I cried a lot Saturday, which was obviously not really about contra boy. However disproportionate my emotional response tends to be, I don't think it's disproportionate enough for that. I've since been meditating on things happening how they need to happen, which Daniel talks about a lot, and which is more obviously (or easily) applicable to contact improv. than to the rest of life. But which is a helpful thing to believe anyhow.

And on some level (the one on which I'm not all angsty, I guess) the world seems like a really good place. Really. Dancing makes me very happy. And dance people make me happy. Claire gave me homemade balm on the way home from the jam Sunday, and we talked about what words she'd like to describe it with and whether studying math was really full of cosmic experiences. There are a bunch of friendly people at the contra with whom I am not embroiled in awkward situations. (And every time I run into someone I know "out of context" it makes me happy. Today, a woman at the library who contra dances.) And math is exciting and full of the possibility of someday understanding a thing. And plans to go to workshops and maybe give talks, because maybe I'll understand a thing. I guess my enthusiasm here might be measurable by the fact that I'm attending at least a class and a half that I'm not enrolled in. And planning to spend my spring break doing math. I'm enthusiastic! And thinking about the friends I love makes me feel better about the world, like I really could try opening up to people again. I think I haven't been doing so much of that in awhile. I've been scared. But the world is feeling so benevolent!

And comedic, also comedic.